Family function at my brother’s the other day: his wife has a niece (18-19) who’s a HB8-9. I’ve occasionally gotten a look from the Niece that had me nervous, but the last one has me downright worried.
I don’t want to be the Creepy Uncle; truth be told, I think (*IF* I am reading her correctly) she might be focusing on me because my brother is married to her aunt. This would be an explosive situation if it progressed. Fortunately, these family get togethers are infrequent–the best course of action is to ignore it, and hope that her current boyfriend keeps her otherwise occupied.
But…damn, it’s been a loooooong time since I got that look from a woman. It makes you feel young (well, younger).
The Journalist swung by the desk last week for some idle chit chat, and she started griping about the person she was waiting for:
“I can’t believe this guy is taking so long. I would never let my boyfriend or husband make me wait like this.”
I give her a sidelong glance; “Really?”
She didn’t notice my look–far too busy checking her Iphone for messages. “Yeah.”
I saw the guy she was waiting for get off the elevator. “I guess that’s one reason we don’t hook up.”
Her eyes went round as saucers. Whatever response she might have made was cut off by the arrival of her associate. I have no idea if she looked back at me– I got busy with my own work. Whether she knew it or not, she just eliminated herself from “the pool of potentials”. If I have learned one thing from the Roissysphere/Manosphere, it is this: Never, never, ever, let a woman dictate your level of importance to you.
I remember being worried over feeling jealous at the sight of the Journalist getting a hug from a guy– worried because it meant I was slightly pedestalizing her, and suffering from attachment. That conversation killed that once and for all. Thank God. My time is running out, and the last thing I need to do is pine over a woman who would treat me like my time is less important than hers.
An interesting interaction between myself and the Journalist has led to a change in her behavior towards me; I was going through some orientation material with a new hire, when the Journalist came up and introduced herself:
Her: “Hi, I’m X,…I’m one of (The Blanque)’s favorites.”
Me: “You’re one of my favorites?” (with a note of surprise in my voice)
Her: (turning to look directly at me) “Yeah.”
Me: “You are?” (I injected a slight note of disapproval into my voice as I said this)
Her: “Aren’t I?”
Me: (saying nothing, but cocking my head and raising an eyebrow as I looked at her, trying to convey that she was being a bit presumptuous)
I swear to you, I could see the wheels in her head start spinning, trying to figure out what she had done wrong. I’ll give her props on this, though–she never let her worry go any further than her eyes.
I let her hang there for about a minute, then let her down easy, saying that yes, she was one of my favorites (with a slight emphasis on the one), and that I just wanted to see her sweat a little. Since then, she’s been more…attentive, even flirtatious as she speaks to me–prior to this, it’s been a casual “good morning” as she went past. She’s definitely putting more effort to engage me as encounters me during the day. I think I successfully reminded her that she can’t take me for granted.
I guess it’s ok to shake a woman’s foundations a little bit every once in a while.
The Journalist stopped by the desk, bearing a scratch ticket.
She: Give me a quarter. I’ll play it right here, and if I win, I’ll look out for you (she’ll cut me in).
Me: Wait–did you win? (I was referring to a conversation we had last week, when she bought a Big Game/Megabucks ticket, and told me not to play because she was going to win.)
She: I haven’t even played it yet!
Me: No, no–I mean last week.
She: (Blank look, then..) Oh! Uh, no–I lost.
Me: Waitaminute–you told me not to play because you bought a ticket! I might have won if I had played!
She: C’mon–gimme a quarter!
And I almost did it–I caught myself fishing a quarter out of my pocket. Damnit! Fortunately, she got distracted by one of my co-workers, and forgot about it altogether.
I’m not sure what I would have done; how do you diffuse a situation like that without seeming like a dick?
Speaking of failing tests, I watched the following on Saturday:
There’s some kind of event going on at Government Center, and there are a bunch of performers on stage doing salsa and contemporary dance. One troop moves off stage, and move inside to change clothes–all except one woman, who proceeds to whip off her costume by the side of the stage. The Sergeant (Gold Shield means Sergeant, right?) steps up and asks her to move around the corner. She didn’t even look up at him, and said: “Do I make you uncomfortable?”, to which he responded, “Yeah, a little”. She chuckled, and said, “You’ll get used to it.”
And he let her go on disrobing. Poor bastard–that woman dissed him, and he didn’t have a clue as to what to do about it.
In 2003 people said Justice Scalia was ‘crazy’ when, in his dissent in Lawrence v. Texas, he said the decision would inevitably lead to the courts ruling ‘gay marriage’ constitutional using the 14th Amendment. Well, it is rather obvious, in light of the decisions that have come out of state and federal courts across the country, that Nino is a prophet.
None of this is surprising. Ideology inevitably leads to taking ideas to their logical conclusions outside of reality because ideas are laboratory experiments. Same sex marriage is one of the stops along the way to the end of opening marriage to every kind and type of combination — logic demands it…and soon the ideologues will, too.
In light of the logic used by Judge Walker, Matt, what is to stop a future judge from ruling that one can marry a close relative, or multiple people, or a minor? The answer is ‘NOTHING’.
And, again:
In the 1990’s, when the fight for ‘gay marriage’ began in earnest, many dismissed it chances of success as ’silly’ and ‘crazy’ – the laugh is now on them.
What is to stop the age of consent from being lowered or abolished [especially as we continue to give Sharia legal standing]?
…because I got a scoped out by an easy 6 at the Mickey D’s Friday morning–while she was sitting next to her man.
I stop off at the place every morning before work for my morning coffee and sandwich (I ain’t paying the Dunkin’s rate until they bring the quality up), and as I’m sitting there eating I feel eyes on me. I look up, and there’s a brunette giving me solid eye contact. She held my gaze for a good five seconds, then broke off to answer a question or comment from the man she was with. A few minutes later, the two get up to leave–and she gives me another five second stare, looking back over her shoulder at me as her friend emptied their trays. She then took his proffered hand, and the two left together.
Man, what an ego boost. I’ve seen women give that look to others, but I’ve never been on the receiving end myself–not even when I was getting laid. “Late bloomer”, indeed–maybe getting old isn’t as bad as I thought it was.
UPDATE: And it happened again, today (8/16), as I was leaving work–this time from an 8 who stopped, gave me a once over, did a classic lip-bite, and then left. Damn me for not realizing what had happened until she was across the street!
Throughout human evolutionary history, and in contemporary tribal societies today, girls get married soon after reaching puberty and thus at the peak of their reproductive value. They typically marry much older men of high status, great political power, and ample resources. A typical marriage, both throughout human evolutionary history and in contemporary tribal societies, is between a newly pubescent teenage girl and a middle-aged or elderly tribal chief, who marries her as his third or fourth or eleventh wife. Young boys in their adolescence and early adulthood are almost never able to marry, until they are much older and have acquired the means and status to do so.
So why do today’s teenage girls find teenage boys, like Bieber and Lautner, sexually attractive, but not much older men of greater status and means, like Gates and Branson, who are exactly the type of men that the teenage girls would have married had they lived 10,000 years ago or today in tribal societies in Africa? Teenage girls today could not possibly have evolved psychological mechanisms to find teenage boys sexually attractive, because such an evolved psychological mechanism would have been highly maladaptive in the ancestral environment. Any teenage girl who was foolish enough to have fallen in love with and married a teenage boy, without the status and means to protect her and her children, was not likely to have left many surviving offspring.
In essence, the author acknowledges the Roissy Truism “The Gina Tingle conquers all”, and wants to know why?
My immediate, gut-level response would be, “Because they can.”
We live in what is, arguably, the wealthiest civilization in all of recorded history. Even the general “poor” in the West have access to material goods that would have staggered the imagination of our ancestors–even those at the beginning of the 20th Century would be amazed at what we have today. Historically, most people have lived at subsistence level; if you lost your livelihood, you didn’t go on unemployment–you starved. And, I don’t mean you go hungry–you starved:
There’s a reason the Gods of the Copybook Headings say: If you don’t work, you die! And, if Vox Day is right in his analysis of the economy of the West (The Return of the Great Depression), those gods may very well be limping their way up to the podium to explain that to us again.
Under such conditions, what Satoshi Kanazawa states is true: women wouldn’t settle for the prettyboys–they would grab up a proven provider with gusto. But we don’t live in historically usual circumstances–the imminent pressure of death doesn’t press down on the female side of the sexual marketplace as it usually does, so women are free to waste their time sexually pursuing whom they please, and the criteria for a mate becomes one primarily of aesthetics, instead of economics.
The irony is palpable: just as men build empires to defend the nations they love, so too, men build civilizations to protect the children they love; and the consequences of a poorly-built (or, as I suspect is the truth in the West, poorly-defended) civilization are as tragic as those of a poorly-built empire.
Edit:Dennis Mangan has his own take on Kanazawa’s question (tip o’ the hat to Alkibiades for the link).
Given that the average score is 12 and 15, with celebrities scoring about an 18 (and true narcissists scoring about a 20), I would say that I have a long way to go.
This guest post was submitted by Laura Grace Robins of Full of Grace, Seasoned with Salt. If you would like to submit a post to In Mala Fide, check out the guidelines for contributions and then email me via the contact form, subject line “Guest Post”.
Well, I’m going to get some heat for this one, but the analogy is worth pointing out. I can’t help watching the Dog Whisperer show without seeing that a husband can also apply the same techniques to his wife. The major theme that Cesar Millan tries to get across is that as a dog owner you need to show that you are the leader of the pack and that you want your dog to be in a “calm and submissive” state. Hmmmmm, sounds familiar, huh? Discussions from my post, “Submitting Love,” got me to thinking if only there was a ‘wife whisperer’ who could come in and teach husbands how to get a handle on their wives. Below, I will offer some suggestions that are adapted from Cesar Millan’s techniques.
If you are offended by my woman/dog analogies, please don’t start barking at me. It only proves my point. After all, how did women get referred to as ‘bitches’ in the first place?
Here is a clip where Cesar discusses how to give affection to a dog. As you watch, every time he says “dog”, put in “wife” instead. I think you will notice some curious similarities.
If you are only giving “heart and body” in your affection, you will be “dragged all over the place and she won’t care.” Sound familiar? Therefore, you also have to give “mind.” Notice the dog at the 1:53 mark. He says in that state, you can shower on all the affection you want, because she is being “calm and submissive”. He says most people share affection when the mind is, “excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, panicky, unstable; people unfortunately have a tendency to share affection in order to calm the mind down–that only intensifies the behavior. It says “I agree with that behavior”. So, in other words, when your wife is excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, unstable, etc., don’t share affection, it only intensifies the behavior.
The best thing to do may be just be to walk away and let the unstable moment pass until she then assumes the ‘calm and submissive’ state. At that point, lay on the affection. It’s positive reinforcement. The current cultural assumption is that when a woman is exhibiting any of those unstable traits, that you are suppose to console and comfort her. A man would be considered heartless if he walks away. Usually he is also considered heartless if he stays and says the wrong thing. So, what is a man to do? Often you just can’t win with either and unstable dog or woman.
I think it also depends on whether she is throwing a hissy-fit over something trivial or whether there is some tragedy going on such as: a death in the family, loss of job, etc. In those cases, affection is appropriate and timely. I am not saying that men should never give affection to their wives; I’m saying, “only at the right time”.
Here I found an article called, “How to Control Your Dog’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader”. Below, I took some parts from that article and everywhere they wrote “dog,” I swapped in “wife/woman.” Some parts don’t apply, like “How to Put on a Choke Chain.” Believe it or not, I am NOT advocating that. Regardless, give it a read and you will see that it eerily makes sense. My extra thoughts are put in parentheses.
…
How to Control Your Wife’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader
Is your wife doing a behavior that you don’t approve of? Does she pull you around? Do you feel that you can’t control her? Is it hard to take items (pretty things) away from her without being bitten (not literally of course)? To solve all the symptoms, we must get to the root of the matter. Your wife is most likely thinking that she is the pack leader, or at least she is confused about who is the pack leader. When you claim leadership, the wife is free and content to be a happy willing follower.
1. Good Reasons to be a Pack Leader
* Your wife will remain well-behaved, even around other women who may or may not be.
* Your wife will learn to respect your possessions.
* Reduces constant barking (or whining).
* Your wife will be less anxious and nervous.
* Your wife will be happier and more content.
2. Learn to Think like a Woman
* Realize that there are some areas where women do think like men, and some areas where they do not. This is important because often men will reinforce negative behavior without knowing it.
* Realize that women live in the present much more than men do. Just because a woman has done something for a while, doesn’t mean that she can’t change. In the same way, just because a woman has had a tough upbringing, or might have been abused, doesn’t mean that she can’t be rehabilitated into a loving, calm wife.
* Women do not have guilt or pity in their mindsets/thinking. If a man expresses these emotions, a woman will interpret them as weakness.
* Women can be given affection without being touched. A look can also convey affection.
* Women have different levels of excitability that they progress through. A problem woman that goes into a frenzy in certain situations cannot be corrected when she has reached her highest level of intensity. You must correct at the lower levels to prevent her from becoming out of control.
3. Learn the Pack Mentality
* Women have a pack mentality (or herd mentality). If you have a wife, you are a member of the same pack that she is.
* If a husband shows weakness when he first brings her into their pack, the wife will often try to become the pack leader herself.
* There will always be a pack leader. If you make sure that it is you, then you’ll be able to control your wife in any situation because they will look to you to see how they should react.
* A woman will try to become the pack leader if no one else is.
* Consider women in a pack (think women and their girlfriend cliques; think how one woman in that group always tends to be the leader and the other women follow whatever she does). Women are happier when they know their place in the pack. Your wife will be more content and happy when you consistently behave like a pack leader. If you allow your wife to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader in other areas, you will frustrate your wife. (The trick, as a husband, is becoming that one popular woman in the girlfriend clique who she will follow around).
* A pack leader … (I recognize some of these are more a wife’s realm, deciding about dinner, etc.)
Decides where the pack will go.
Decides when the pack will eat.
Decides who gets what food.
Decides who is allowed to bark (whine) and when (if at all).
Decides when the pack is allowed to play (decides when to separate business from pleasure).
* Decides what the pack is allowed to play with (decides who are appropriate friends that will exert good influences).
Decides how other members of the pack must behave (decides how the family should behave).
Decides who owns what.
The rest of the pack is not resentful of how this works. To them, it is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when relating to your wife), your wife will be content because her pack is working the way her instincts say it should. ( I think that is particularly interesting, about how her instincts say it should work, NOT how society says it should).
When pack leaders correct children in their pack, they are rarely aggressive, but just assertive. Men must learn this combination of calm assertiveness to master their role as the pack leader
4. Be Calm and Assertive When Dealing with Your Wife
* Assertive is different than aggressive.
* If your wife knows voice commands, use them:
o Only in firm tones.
o Don’t use a high-pitched voice.
o Don’t speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby.
o Do not speak in anger.
o Don’t say it as if you are asking the wife a question.
o If you give a command and you know your wife is purposefully ignoring you, stop giving the command, you’re just making it worse.
* If you have seen Star Wars, the “Jedi mind trick” is a good example of calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and calmness of the tone of voice.
5. Be the Pack Leader
* A less dominant man can become the leader of many much larger and stronger woman. It is a matter of attitude, not physical power or strength.
* Ways you can convey to your wife that you are the pack leader:
o Exit the house first when you go out. Enter first when you go in.
o Sit at the head of the table.
* Let your wife know what behaviors you, as the pack leader, don’t like.
* Be consistent to correct any behavior that you don’t want. Your wife will be confused if sometimes you correct her, and sometimes you don’t.
Other Tips
* Be assertive, but not aggressive.
* Do not yell at your wife. If you think you have to, you are doing something wrong.
* Share affection as much as you want, but only when your wife is in a calm, submissive state of mind.
* Women usually want to please men. Be consistent, so they understand what you expect of them.
* Be consistent. It will help your wife learn more quickly, and help them to trust you.
…
The last thing I want to bring up is that Cesar will often give a dog a little pinch when it is misbehaving. So perhaps a little pinch or squeeze of the hand will also do the wife good. Out in public, if she is getting too loud or annoying, or simply just not being respectful, give her a little sign that that sort of behavior is not acceptable. Works for me, and has caused me to bite my tongue. Sometimes it is also just a look. Come to think of it, don’t pinch—that will get you a DV charge–ha!
Posted by theblanque 
