There are moments when you suddenly realize that you’re in trouble: the red light you ran at two in the morning that results in a traffic citation showing up in the mail, courtesy of a traffic camera you didn’t notice; the phone call you get at 9 P.M. from your boss, asking you to come to work a half-hour early the next day–just to clear up a few details on that report you wrote two months ago; and then there’s the sudden twinge of emotion you feel for someone that you know–you just know–you have no business feeling for that person, a twinge you know will just lead to more trouble.
I was watching the main entrance yesterday when the Journalist came in. We get along okay–we exchange hellos and small talk from time to time, but I would classify her as an acquaintance, not as an actual friend. Yet, when I saw her stop to speak to a man and then kiss him on the cheek, I felt a sudden twinge of jealousy.
I have absolutely no reason to feel jealous of who she sees, or what she does; I can’t even say that I know her well enough to have any real feelings for her–and some of the things I do know about her are definitely negatives in my view: she’s decidedly liberal, a vegetarian, a Democrat, and more than a little presumptive in thinking that people should take her opinions without question. She is attractive–a high 7 to an 8–but there are others who easily outshine her in terms of physical beauty (such as the now departed and much missed Little Ms. Rock Star). I do feel lust for the woman, but not just for her, and I don’t fantasize about her as I do others (like the much prettier Legal Secretary up on 9).
So, why the jealousy?
Like I said–not good.