Parading her boy-toy about…

…the Journalist has been sending a number of signals my way–the first and foremost being: “I know that I’m attractive, and I can still land a young stud.” I’ve let my cards show, and she’s responding, mostly saying, “you’re not good enough”.

*sigh* It’s not easy divesting oneself of four decades of indoctrination. I should never have indicated my sexual interest, and I should have negged her hard when I had the chance. Live and learn.

The Legal Secretary continues her routine. I’ve learned that when a woman ignores a man, she does so in one of two ways: through invisibility, or through blatant avoidance.

Invisibility refers to an absolute lack of awareness as to a man’s presence; to her mind, the man in question only exists when there is a particular need to be met–all other occasions, the man is simply part of the landscape. Garbage men are the closest example I can think of–when we don’t need garbage disposed of, we don’t think of them, and they become invisible to us.

Blatant avoidance is when a woman makes a deliberate effort to avoid acknowledging that a man exists. In the Legal Secretary’s case, when she sees me behind the desk, she avoids eye contact at all costs–even to the point where she will turn her head to look in the opposite direction from me while passing by.

The thing that frustrates and intrigues me about this latter behavior (the former merely pisses me off) is that, were my presence so negative, why doesn’t she just avoid me altogether? Why not enter through the main entrance instead of the “back” of the building? And, what about the times I caught her checking to see if I was at my post? There have been mornings when I was far enough behind the desk that I was not visible to those who passed unless they made an effort to see if I was there; on at least one such occasion, I caught the Legal Secretary doing just that, only to have her snap her head around after the briefest moment of eye-contact. Was she checking for my presence out of fear, or some other emotion?

Add to the mix the fact that the Legal Secretary is 1) a solid 9 (and wouldn’t it piss off the Journalist to hear me say so) and 2) rather young, and it makes me wonder just what is it that is going on.

I am currently working my way through two books: The Myth of Male Power, and Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man. To be honest, you need to read the latter first, because the former is 1) too pat in his analysis, and 2) his solutions are just too emasculating. Warren Farrell has done incredibly important work in illustrating the way men are getting the shaft in the West, but unless you read PFP first, you won’t understand why his solutions are disastrous. Would that I had had both books back in the ’80’s, before I left for college. The learning curve is a serious bitch.


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