We have a no weapons policy where I work–no knives, boxcutters, or razors of any stripe are allowed into the building. As a result, we end up with a lot of knives surrendered to Security. The irony is, almost all Security Officers carry a knife (as a tool–you’d be surprised at the number of times a knife comes in handy). When Security does collect a knife, the Officer must do a report and log the knife in.
The other day, Doris Day (yes, that’s what we call her) brought a knife down to the desk to log in. She was a bit agitated–the guy who brought in the knife must have bitched about giving it up. While writing the report, she asked about the length of the knife, so I pulled out mine for comparison.
She holds his up to mine, considers them for a moment, and announces: “Yours is bigger than his.”
My reply: “OK. And…thank you for saying so.”
She got the joke.