Some truths are so obvious that they are as rare as as diamonds.

Scrolling through the comments section of Infidelity and prole drift at In Mala Fide, I was struck by Snark’s comment to David Alexander:

DA:“You are an alpha, not an idiotic anti-social dysfunctional sub-human male that’s clumsy and bumbling and incapable of making a basic decision. From my perspective, it’s far easier to let her lead and pick everything because there’s a sizable chance that I have no idea of what to do, where to go, or how to do it properly. Why risk the embarrassment?”

Snark:The way to deal with this is to believe that you are always completely correct, and if it comes to it, everybody else is wrong.

Stick fast to this and other people will start admitting that you’re right. See? You always were.

That is so fucking brilliant and so fucking obvious that it is a truth as rare as a diamond. You have to have faith in yourself. It’s one of those things never talked about, because everyone assumes that everyone knows it.

But I–and I suspect, many others–did not; I grew up having no faith in my abilities, and believing that I couldn’t succeed. And because I learned very early on that the price of failure is punishment (either physical or psychological/emotional), I did the only logical thing–I stopped trying. And it had been that way for years, even after the actual threat of punishment ceased to be real (it’s an amazing thing, to realize your father can no longer physically beat you), because the perception of punishment–the fear of punishment–is usually enough to keep you in line.

At some point, you have to develop faith in your own abilities. Amazing how often that is missed.

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2 Responses to Some truths are so obvious that they are as rare as as diamonds.

  1. Snark says:

    Thanks for the kudos! For what it’s worth: I’m just the same as you and most other guys – I grew up thinking I couldn’t succeed. It’s beta programming. Hell, it’s FEMINIST programming.

    Even when the source of punishment is removed, you have internalised the (previously very real) sanctions enough that they can continue to punish you: Freud referred to this as the superego. Sort of like the conscience – the set of rules, morality, if you will, which appears to emanate from within. Actually, the rules are learned through simple reward and punishment, and they stick. No matter how fucked up they are – it’s a matter of adaptation, or survival, or defence mechanism, or something, and it’s why women whose fathers abused them always end up with abusive guys even though they claim that what they really want is ‘a nice guy who can make me laugh’ etc.

    The important thing to remember is that none of this is immutable. It can all be overcome. We aren’t automatons, to our human nature nor to learned behaviours. We’re the only species in the world who can forego instinctual drives in favour of deliberation. Confidence WILL see you through if you have it. It works like magic. I suspect in reality that simply believing in yourself leads to you exuding charisma, or something like that, which influences those who aren’t so cocksure. So even when you’re wrong, if you’re on completely firm footing, those who are less comfortable with committing to a position (most people) will be inclined to side with you.

    And there you have it, because you’re a guy who seems to know exactly what he’s talking about, and the proof is in the numbers who agree with you.

  2. […] The Blanque – “Some Truths Are So Obvious That They Are as Rare as Diamonds.” […]

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