I could have written that letter.

Obsidian posted this letter on his blog, and only half-way through, I found two thoughts racing through my head:

1) A sympathetic “Oh, you poor bastard”; and,

2) “I could have written this letter.”

Truly we live in a world run amok. I have experienced moments like those the author relates, and have heard stories from others just as bad (and in some cases–worse).

Ultimately, this is a letter of despair: “why bother?” is the rallying cry of those men who have decided to go omega, to just chuck the whole nasty mess and do without. It’s a bothersome question, one that a lot of people can’t answer. Lord knows, I’ve asked myself that question a number of times down through the years–and the only response I could muster was, “why indeed?”

But a wise man once told me, “Despair is a sin”, and the sin of despair has its opposing virtue: Hope. By all accounts, I should be lying in a palliative-care unit somewhere, drugged into a stupor by morphine as the race to see what would run out first–my cancer-ridden liver or my health insurance. Yet, here I am–alive, and kicking like a motherfucker. Where there’s a chance, there’s hope. You have to have faith that that one out of ninety-nine women will say yes, and that it will be worth it.

Mind you, it’s not all faith; part of the problem with the author of that letter seems to do a lot of reading about Game, but he hasn’t internalized any of what people like Roissy et al teach. I mean, consider the moment that his hook-up said “Do you think I just have sex with random people”?, he should have flipped the script and thrown her last minute resistance in her face (“No, I don’t; I thought you were into me. I’ll see you later.”, and then go back downstairs and sarged right back into the crowd.). All the theory in the world doesn’t mean shit if it isn’t tested and tried–you don’t go swimming without getting wet. It’s the whole point behind that proverb by Alexander Pope:

“A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again.”

Or, to put it in more colloquial terms: “Do, or do not! There is no try!”

Edit: Ok, having read some of the responses to the letter over at TOF, I realize my advice wasn’t the best–he should have said, “No, I don’t”, and gone for the kill. See why I’m not getting any? Live and learn.

It’s not like I’ve been having any more success that this kid–Mr. Wiggly is starving here, folks. But giving up now begs the question of why I should have survived cancer–what’s the point of going through all the pain of surgery and chemo if you’re going to live life in a dark hole in the ground?

Fuck that. I can do better. I fucken’ deserve better–and so does this guy, if he’d actually think about it. We all do. I have faith in that.

So, I’m going pub crawling this weekend. I’ll probably get shot down again; maybe I’ll get a slap in the face–the modern equivalent of a “red badge of courage”. Sooner or later, I’ve got to find that one-in-ninety-nine (or nine hundred ninety-nine)–I have to, dammit.

It ain’t much to have hope for, to have faith in–but it’ll do, for now.

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4 Responses to I could have written that letter.

  1. […] The Blanque – “I Could Have Written That Letter.” […]

  2. anoukange says:

    Even though you have posted about me in an untrue and unflattering way regarding a situation you personally knew nothing about, I will say I appreciate your honesty with this post and I too read the letter and thought “poor guy”. I have never been mean to guys, and I accept that nice guys apparently do finish last, but I will continue to reward nice behavior over mean, aggressive, asshole ways. Rejection can be done delicately and with tact, but young girls have not learned the grace to do so, so all of you guys have paid the price and it brews hate in you towards women in general. It’s a shame really. That girl was a royal bitch to that guy and I like to smack her one good if I could.

    p.s. You have me filed under low self-esteem. I find that funny. What I did/have done (by sticking around) takes balls and belief in oneself, it is the opposite of low self-esteem. Having the power and freedom of not giving a shit what other people think is high self-esteem. It is the way and life of an artist, if only I could teach it. cheers.

    • theblanque says:

      Everything I have posted about you and your behavior is true–and the fact that you are still trying to make excuses and deny your wrongdoing just illustrates how true it is.

    • Snark says:

      anoukange, the way you phrased that last bit was extremely defensive. It screams low self-esteem. You might have convinced yourself that you don’t have low self-esteem, and that you’re a sassy smart etc., but you wouldn’t have been so defensive if it were true.

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